Clean That Sludge

Four calls to the council, even more emails, and now I’ve actually visited their office, and I’m still not sure they’re going to do a single thing about the waste leaking from the wall at the end of the road. Our road runs into a hill, you see, so the house on the corner is …

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My Wallpaper Rules

It’s weird to own a house. I mean, not just on the level of being able to have your avocado toast and eat it too. It’s also weird because there’s no real estate agent breathing down your neck, waiting to raise the rent at the drop of hat (instead, there’s the bank waiting to raise …

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Window Week Squeak

Is it just me, or is The Great Australian Trade-Off the BEST SHOW EVER. No, it’s not just me. Apart from a few naysayers who we don’t really listen to anyway, this is the best season yet, out of a whole two seasons. That said, there have only been three episodes, so maybe I shouldn’t …

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All The Pests Disappear

Back in the days of old, people had household spirits to do all their dirty work for them. No, not REALLY, but there were all kinds of legends and folklore, so it must’ve come from somewhere. You’ve got elves making shoes, brownies coming to sweep the floor, and if you were really lucky, then evil …

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I Must Go Boating

Recently I was talking to my guru about a dream I had. In it I was on a boat, with Elon Rust, with both of us having a dance competition and wearing giant banana suits. Was this a premonition of great things to come? We had a bit of a hypnotherapy session and he said …

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Hating Living Things

Secretly, I kind of hate flowers. And I feel bad about hating them…so I guess you could say that I hate the level of hate I have for them. I should just go and live in a castle on a hill where it’s always stormy and there are lightning strikes and rumbles of thunder every …

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