After twenty hours of reading, no sleep and sixteen cups of coffee, I’m finally up to the final provision. If I agree to this last one, the Window Replacement Wizard will help me get my real body back, so that I can return to my life as a marine welder. I’m so close, and that is making me really nervous. I wanted to make one final blog post before reading it, just to settle my nerves.
Now that we are here, however, would you care to join me? Let’s read it together. I’m scared, but it can’t be worse than the one about timber window replacement near Melbourne. Basically, any time that somebody needs timber window replacement in the area, I have to manually chop down a tree and make the window frame for them, and then set it on fire. Why? All so that the wizard can have a laugh, then magically repair the window anyway.
Alright, here we go. Provision one thousand. “Those who wish to gain my loyalty and assistance must consume a single pickle.”
You have got to be kidding me. This list of provisions has had some ridiculous requests, from mastering double hung windows installation to regularly going bowling with the wizard and letting him win, but this is the worst of them all. I don’t think I can do it.
No, you know what, I know I can’t do it. I won’t. How dare the wizard demand that I eat a pickle? That is my least favourite food in the world. Many people can’t stand pickles, so why would he put this in here? I was willing to scrub the wizard’s back while he bathes, cook dinner for him every second Tuesday and join his roleplaying adventure game, but I will not do this. It is too much.
Yes, I desperately need the wizard’s help to regain my true body. But this provision has made me realise that the wizard is simply too demanding. I will find another way to get my body back because I don’t want the wizard’s help any more. Wish me luck.