Spiders Can’t Swim

I can’t believe it’s taken me this long, but I finally know how to escape the spiders: take to the seas. I’ve never been on a boat, ever. Why would anyone go on a boat in 2018, really? That got old the moment commercial planes started accepting passengers and everyone realised that a six-week journey …

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I Must Go Boating

Recently I was talking to my guru about a dream I had. In it I was on a boat, with Elon Rust, with both of us having a dance competition and wearing giant banana suits. Was this a premonition of great things to come? We had a bit of a hypnotherapy session and he said …

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