All The Pests Disappear

Back in the days of old, people had household spirits to do all their dirty work for them. No, not REALLY, but there were all kinds of legends and folklore, so it must’ve come from somewhere. You’ve got elves making shoes, brownies coming to sweep the floor, and if you were really lucky, then evil faeries would steal into your baby’s room by night, replacing it with a much quieter and more manageable changeling. Those were surely some good times.

And here’s me with termite issues. Best I can do is look up someone in pest control, Berwick is nearby and is sure to have someone talented. I hope they can come on short notice. Don’t suppose any brownies are still hanging around some mythic unemployment office, waiting to come by night and solve my termite problem before I awake? Surely termites must have been a problem in days of yore. Everything was made of wood back then, so it must’ve been even more of a problem. Maybe after we started building our homes out of brick, all the mystic helpers just concluded that we didn’t need them for pest control any more, so they up and left. Maybe they went to Japan it Scandinavia, which is why those places are so weirdly clean even though humans in general seem pretty gross all over the world. Alright, so…questions for later. Night elves, any chance of coming back for decent wages and benefits? Pensions, perhaps? Not even sure they’d been invented in days of yore.

In any case, termites have probably learned a few things about hiding, because that would explain why removing them is a chore and not something that can be done in a few minutes. That’s what I get for wanting an open wood fire, but then being too lazy to separate the damp wood from the house. Now I need the most thorough termite inspection Mornington pest controllers can give. I’m such a hopeless case.

But then, the darkest part of the story is usually when the magical helpers decide to show up, so…just gonna go to bed tonight and hope for the best. Wink, wink.