Fungal Nail Child

I know exactly what to say to my twin when we meet: “How’s your life been, unfettered by foot problems?” Of course, my fungal nail infection cleared up pretty much a few months after I was born, but I’d been whisked away to a small community in the country, and soon, everyone knew what was …

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That Cold Mountain

I’m usually not a massive fan of industries, especially ones that are successful and make a lot of money. The best tea shop is one you could go to one day and find has closed down, because you and your friends were the only customers. That way, you know it’s not beholden to the man, …

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Brunch and Relax

Well, at least the Oven Tea Party challenge is over, because the whole thing just made me nervous. Even if an oven isn’t on, you just…shouldn’t get inside one. Not unless you’re cleaning it. Although while I was busy worrying about the youth of today, my nephew goes and opens his own cafe. It’s been …

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Solar Planet

I definitely make an effort to do my part for the environment. Earth Hour is taken very seriously in our household, which is pretty easy since Mum and Dad usually aren’t home and it’s just me in this big, dark house with my lone candle. I make sure to recycle my shopping bags in those …

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Melbourne Hair Games

I guess if you’re not from Melbourne, you don’t get on the squad. That’s fine. Not feeling jilted or anything. Everything is just fine, watching all those hair stylists go off to the Hair-olympics in a BLATANT act of favouritism. Honestly, I’ve half a mind to complain to the international hairdressing authority; only problem with …

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Spiders Can’t Swim

I can’t believe it’s taken me this long, but I finally know how to escape the spiders: take to the seas. I’ve never been on a boat, ever. Why would anyone go on a boat in 2018, really? That got old the moment commercial planes started accepting passengers and everyone realised that a six-week journey …

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Clean That Sludge

Four calls to the council, even more emails, and now I’ve actually visited their office, and I’m still not sure they’re going to do a single thing about the waste leaking from the wall at the end of the road. Our road runs into a hill, you see, so the house on the corner is …

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My Wallpaper Rules

It’s weird to own a house. I mean, not just on the level of being able to have your avocado toast and eat it too. It’s also weird because there’s no real estate agent breathing down your neck, waiting to raise the rent at the drop of hat (instead, there’s the bank waiting to raise …

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Window Week Squeak

Is it just me, or is The Great Australian Trade-Off the BEST SHOW EVER. No, it’s not just me. Apart from a few naysayers who we don’t really listen to anyway, this is the best season yet, out of a whole two seasons. That said, there have only been three episodes, so maybe I shouldn’t …

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